Peace

Well it's well over a week since I've had a real chance to blog, it was so nice to have my parents here with me and spending time with the kids, but at the same time it is nice to have the house to myself again.

I have to praise my mother, she is a true hero. I have don't know where she finds the patience to deal with my dad but I am amazed as I would have just lost the plot if I were in her boots. Since dad's illness he talks incessantly, never shuts up and is always correct. He argues about everything and is so defensive you just have to look at him and he thinks that you want to fight with him. The kids loved him though, they never saw too much of that adult goings on and maybe that is why the innocence of childhood is so valuable. They simply just loved their grand dad and he had no faults.

Big Little Man has been moving onto his grown up world with his orientations at his new big school, he seems very excited and I am so glad that I signed him up to LA as the 2 boys he knows there are also going to the same school, he told me that his "friends" were going to go to school with him and that he was very happy, nothing more could have pleased me that day.

Little Man is also turning into a big boy, today he went off to pre-school for the first time and they said he was a real champ. Some how he managed to have a yoghurt fight with his brother, but hey they are my boys after all, who ever said they would behave in the care of others!

As for myself, my mothers lovely home cooking has seen 2 kilo's creep back onto my bottom, so now I'm attempting and failing but getting back up again to lose the extra weight but also go back to my healthier ways. It's amazing how quickly you can let things go and how hard it seems to get back on track. Hopefully I am back there by Christmas, although it shouldn't matter to much as we aren't really doing anything anyway.

Well, boring as I am, that's it, nothing more to say!

Secrets

Oh I'm thinking that my secret blog is really necessary as I'm feeling a bit smothered by the man lately. Since I have lost my weight he thinks I'll leave him and no reasoning seems to help, this is his own personal self esteem issue and I love him although most of the time all I want to do is bitch about him, but deep down he a good man just has some OCD and paranoia issues, if he was so bad I wouldn't have stuck about for so long, kids or not.

The reason I feel I really need this secret blog is because he has started to read my email and questioning the email's I send, hello that is going a bit far I think... I feel a discussion then a fight happening tonight, thank goodness I created this secret email to go along with my secret blog and myspace, OMG what will happen if I get busted?

Note: The above was posted via email yesterday but it fail to get here so here is the update:

We had a talk, there were some tense moments, even a few quivering voices about to burst into tears (me) but then he seemed to click inside and understand my need to still be an individual, that it is possible to be a partner, a mother and me. He seem to finally understand that there will always be things we will never have in common and that as a loving partner we just lump it and not let get in the way if it doesn't effect anything.

SO over all it worked out, I had to cancel going to a meeting at the pre-school which ultimately started this all off as he hates my commitment to things that don't mean anything, that I just do things because I feel obliged not because I want too. But he cooked hand-made gnocchi for me, we drank to much beer and vodka and ended up having wild sex on the kitchen floor...too drunk to recall how we ended up there, but we did!

In Laws

Everyone has them if they choose to have a partner, even if it is the
family of a close friend they are like in laws and they tend to have
some facet of them that total drives you nuts.

I think I get along fairly well with my in laws, but they are so
particular that the smallest thing can upset the balance and it's
rocky seas ahead, well I can't recall if I told you about my incident
and it is certainly not a little incident but lets just say I caused a
Tsunami about 6 month ago and the effects of it seem like they will
never fade. Regardless of what occurred and who was wrong or right at
the time I have plain had enough of the guilt that should be and would
rather them just exit my life then pretend to like me in front of my
face, they all walk on egg shells when they are around me, like they
are playing it safe, what bloody for!

I had one incident with BIL4 but every member of that clan has taken
his side but never ever asked us what occurred, he has always been the
god loved brother, there is always one in a family, ours is my sister,
she can never do any wrong, but that is beside the point for the
moment and it is just shitting me beyond all ends I just want to
scream when ever his name is mentioned.

The man likes to make little jokes and believes his family are in the
wrong but when he starts to get effected by their stupid ways it
upsets him and in turn it upsets me too. I'm not sure why I'm blogging
about it, I think because it is caught in my mind and it is ruining
Christmas plans.

Oh to early in the morning to start thinking of it all again, will
just concentrate on myself and my family as we are all that matter.

BOOKCLUB Blog: Across the Nightingale Floor by Lian Hearn

Firstly I am sort of reading 2 books at the same time, I'm not saying The book of Flying was slow or boring, I just started to read the book that my sister mentioned Across the Nightingale Floor by Lian Hearn which sucked me in and I just couldn't put it down. I can't even describe what makes this book interesting, it is the story of Japanese clans from days gone by, where women were delicate and serene and men were warriors, villans and hero's. It is a 4 part book, and I have just collected the next title in the series, but I shall wait and finish the first book I borrowed, after all I am a fair reader. I'll also wait to report on it once I read al the books or maybe before i start the 3rd in the series I have also borrowed "Raising Boys by Steve Biddulph" in a vain hope to see if i help my boys become happy and well-balanced men, just as the subtitle states.

Turing into Miss Piggy

59.6kilos! OMG, I was 56.5kg 2 weeks ago, my parents are making into Miss Piggy! I'm not eting nothing today unless it is a veg and healthy - gezz I have to do something!

Christmas Shopping

OMG, spent the day starting our Christmas shopping and even though I
have pre-budgeted everything, everything that we look at is so
expensive. We thankfully have bought half of all our Christmas
shopping and that is great when you have to buy gifts for 21 people.

The MIL is the hardest to buy for as she has everything known to woman
or if she doesn't have it, it is because it is completely out our
price range. I'm thinking of a manicure set, as she will always have
hands with nails.

I would also like to express my deepest thanks to Ebay for it's super
cheap items which would normal cost a mint elsewhere. Big little man
is the electronic game freak, so all his GBA games have been bought
from ebay and the man's big bro 4 son's are getting soccer shirts.
The only problem with Ebay is that the man see things he wants, now he
feels big little man need a Nintendo DS and I don't think he does... I
shall share the outcome soon as that auction ends in a hour.

The one thing I'm amazed with is we haven't found anything at all
suitable for the little man, we just have know what he would really
enjoy. We bought him Batman toys for his birthday but that is where
our idea's end. Comments people, what to buy a 3 yr old (have I asked
this before?)

As for me and the man, I don't think we deserve anything anyway.

Freak me out

I was just on MSN and some weird person started talking to me, I thought it was a CK person as I have had a few CKer's add me in the past, but this was some guy. I told him because I didn't know him that I wasn't going to talk to him so he got all nasty...it has totally freaked me out. I have used MSN for so long and never had this happen to me, I have blocked him and am curious if this new secret web life is making me paranoid, I never freak out about anything!

Myspace

I am trying to create a Myspace and I have no idea what I am doing, I just wanted to start one so that I could keep in contact with Fella (yes the same sick Fella who spent the weekend here) but it is so boring. But hey what can you expect from the boring SAHM!

Anyway I am hoping to find a cool blog off our beloved blogger that I can steal some idea's from, if not the myspace will remain as it's name sake.

The house is full

Just a quick note, to myself really as I'm sure there is no one out there who reads this crap but me, after all I am boring as bat shit!

My parents have come down to stay with us for 3 weeks, firstly to go to big wedding of our cousin that was on last Saturday and then hanging about till the end of the month for an uncles 65th birthday. i love them about, mum and I sitting about talking rubbish and drinking tea, makes everyday a little less boring, bit like seeing the bat, not just the shit. :D

Dad still is missing a few screws and does not shut up, he can talk about everything and anything without pausing for breath, my mother is a true champion to put up with that, it would drive me insane!

I have big little man and little man on fish oils and vitamins is a vain hope to calm them down, all the research states that it takes about 6 weeks to take effect, so here's hoping a super calm Christmas. Talking of Christmas, thank goodness for ebay as half of the gifts are coming from it. Thos Game boy games are so expensive and it seems that is all the big little man wants. We have no idea what to get the little man. If any one does read this, please throw me your idea's for gifts for 3 yr old boys! Thanks in advance!

Well don't want to get busted and have my secret blog found out, and with the PC in the kitchen getting busted is quite easy, to many times i have had to just shut down the page because someone is about to turn the corner...ohhh the secret life, so exciting! Actually i had a Myspace, but got busted and had to close it...the man is SO paranoid!

Afternoon Hanky Panky

Ohhh yeah you just have to love it!

Do I make you sick?

Oh my, Fella was throwing up all night and I feel mildly responsible as we over ate a little, drank to much wine and polished off the rest of the Lindt chocolates.



There is nothing worse then hearing your friend bringing up her guts all hours of the night, thankfully I'm not a sympathetic vomiter or there would of been a whole lot of mess going on, hope she feels better soon!

Happiness is a box of Chocolates

And even better when they are Lindt Chocolates. I wonder if the Lindt family all have tooth decay or are all grossly overweight, maybe they are covered in pimples and have diabetes but at least they get to enjoy some of the finest chocolate and then share it with ME!

I felt very loved yesterday, although a little lopped sided as it was only my family who sent me well wishes, it just felt like a nice huge hug all the same. I really should make more of an effort on people's birthdays if it generates the same feelings I get from a few quick phone calls, I think just knowing someone out there has taken the time to think of you is lovely.

I got my cute handbag and will get my diary too. I feel what I hand write is different to what I type, not sure why but it just is, maybe it's because who may see it, but the styles seem very different. I recall seeing a beautiful leather bound, old style diary in Borders so the next time I head there I will have a look, may need to wait to get some more money as it is a bit more then I would normally fork out. MIL will throw me a few more $$$ at Christmas so I will use that!

Now I have spent half the day looking at other people's blogs, just clicking away at the "next blog" icon at the top and seeing where it leads me. it is terrible interesting and I do suggest you do it one day. It's nice to know the world is filled with so many different people, with different views to share. There are also some great designed blog's, I have looked about on how to improve mine, but I am at a complete loss. i would love to add a photo of my new bag in the middle of my text, but not sure how to do it, don't you worry I'll work it out one day!



I'm waiting for Fella to come over, she is my best friend from Melbourne, we have a very unique relationship but one that I would never give up, i feel closer to her then i do most friends. Fella and I met at work in 1996, whoo 11 years, and only knew each other for 6 weeks but it was enough to bridge a strong friendship that has lasted over 800km and through phones calls and emails. We are so very different, but when we are together we just enjoy what we can offer each other, she takes from me the boring calm of sahm and she brings me face masks and pedicures which I wouldn't do on my own. Just got a SMS and Fella is 45min away!

My strickness for the last 2 weeks has paid off and i was 56.5kg this morning, lets bet I'm back to 58 by the time Fella leaves? She is a CK'er too but not the forum kind, it will be strange to try and diet together, hopefully she is at interested as me in just having the weekend off.

The big wedding is only a week away, I think I am more excited then the bride!

Happy Birthday to me

And so another year has come and gone and I'm another year older, bugger it why does it just feel like every other day, well I guess simply it is just another day!

The kids don't have a clue it's my birthday and as the man went off to work at the crack of dawn and he didn't have the chance to make them give me hugs and kisses which I would have liked. Talking of the man, I had to remind him that it was birthday yesterday, because I'd still love a card, some effort would be nice. I think that birthdays are meant to be special, to show that person that your happy that they lived another year with you and that your ready for another year with them. Am I being pathetic?

I did get a gift, but I bought it myself about a month ago, still would have been nice to get something when I woke, I always put in the effort for him and the kids. Hang silly banners, leave cards on the table and silly messages. Oh well, ho hum, what can I do?

The man's mum gave me some money so I'm going to buy a cute handbag that I've had my eye on but didn't want to spend the my own money on and get myself a new diary. I'm re-thinking the diary as I use you (my lovely blogger) but it's not the same is it, I like to look back on my old hand written diary's every once in a while, proves to me that my life does move forward and that I do do things. My hand written diary's may come in handy if I ever get Alzheimer's or if I die and my kids can read them and know what their mother was like, although all they will find out is how annoyed I get with them most days, oh my I'm getting depressing!

Oh well, Happy Birthday to me!