Secrets

Oh I'm thinking that my secret blog is really necessary as I'm feeling a bit smothered by the man lately. Since I have lost my weight he thinks I'll leave him and no reasoning seems to help, this is his own personal self esteem issue and I love him although most of the time all I want to do is bitch about him, but deep down he a good man just has some OCD and paranoia issues, if he was so bad I wouldn't have stuck about for so long, kids or not.

The reason I feel I really need this secret blog is because he has started to read my email and questioning the email's I send, hello that is going a bit far I think... I feel a discussion then a fight happening tonight, thank goodness I created this secret email to go along with my secret blog and myspace, OMG what will happen if I get busted?

Note: The above was posted via email yesterday but it fail to get here so here is the update:

We had a talk, there were some tense moments, even a few quivering voices about to burst into tears (me) but then he seemed to click inside and understand my need to still be an individual, that it is possible to be a partner, a mother and me. He seem to finally understand that there will always be things we will never have in common and that as a loving partner we just lump it and not let get in the way if it doesn't effect anything.

SO over all it worked out, I had to cancel going to a meeting at the pre-school which ultimately started this all off as he hates my commitment to things that don't mean anything, that I just do things because I feel obliged not because I want too. But he cooked hand-made gnocchi for me, we drank to much beer and vodka and ended up having wild sex on the kitchen floor...too drunk to recall how we ended up there, but we did!